Countown!

I was speaking to my cave guy tonight, when buying wine for the US election party tomorrow, and he's for Obama. Peeking over someone's shoulder who was reading the newspaper on the metro, and the US map was full of color: reds, blues, swings. Maybe electrons really do fly fast, but I can FEEL the energy from the US over here. So excited!!

But first, I have to get through final planning details of the conference, linen laundry, full day of class tomorrow (10am - 18h), run home, un-fold the futon couch-bed, pull out the air mattress, put away the drying clean clothes, tidy up last details, and then go to the Election Party. Stay up as late as I can (will we know by 6am Paris time?). Sleep during the day. Go to school. Help with registration and set-up. And then, hopefully be a joyous bundle of contentment at the fact that we'll have our first African-American President. Ooooo so excited!!!

I'll have a big, long post on conference planning in Paris because I tell you, it is an entirely different beast. Panelists we invited 6 months ago and started calling 3 months ago are still undecided. There isn't such thing as a conference center at Sciences Po. Accommodation with students and staff is hell because we all live in flats the size of bread-boxes or in a dormitory at Cite Universitaire. Panelists cancelling at last minute. Visiting students making irrational demands from abroad. It's been an interesting challenge. Kind of like running a campaign, including firing staff people, setting deadlines along the way, keeping it cool on the outside while I freak out on the inside, giving interviews to other students not engaged in the planning, schmoozing to get panelists, encouraging team members, etc. So, while I wasn't in the States to do my usual Get Out the Vote efforts, I've run my own campaign down here. Let's hope it goes as smoothly as Obama's!!

Cheers to all!

Oh those Latin Americans..

they can really drink you under the table.

I am so thrilled to be back in school you can't even imagine. I am ecstatic to have a schedule - boulangerie for the best bread at 6pm, groceries at the market on Saturday, class orientation at 9am until 9pm. I'm too happy for anyone to be this happy. I walked home tonight - and not intoxicated but filled with a few beers with friends from last year - with a wide grin to send to the ladies on the corner, the men in the arab grocery stores, the couple holding hands on the metro, the people on the street. I am too happy for this world!

Yes, I loved my summer in Geneve, and yes, I felt free, but more than that, I feel ... like fireworks, like a birthday ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, like Christmas right before you open the presents... I feel this about every day of life. I am so thankful thank you thank you thank you to whomever is owed these thanks for me being alive and free and fortunate and lucky to live.. LIVE. Even in the struggle of fear of the financial collapse, the fear of no job next year, the fear of deciding classes, the fear of what Presidential candidates are deciding each day, the fear of poverty ever-lasting, the sadness of corruption, the depression of losing all holds on reality.. despite these, and WITH them, I am still blessed to feel such utter contentment with life.

"Death is the Easy Way" by My Morning Jacket played on my headphones as I walked home. Replayed over and over again. It's a horribly depressing song, but it inspired in me a sense of freedom and remembrance that death is the easy way and life is hard and messed up and difficult and messy and not easy and my god I'm so lucky to have it. And I'm not at all naive enough to think that this moment will last. I know that in 4 weeks I'll be stressed out and complaining and freaking out and wishing for simpler times. But I will still, even then, remember how lucky I am to feel the feelings of those emotions and experiences.

It will be 11 years this October when Mike killed himself. I can see him standing here right now. I even almost forgot his name but I could still see his face, his fresh-faced youth snicker and blonde hair and glasses. His punk look and detached coolness. He was dating Liberty, my roommate in Minneapolis. She was one of eight roommates at the time in our 3-story house. I had just meet her in the kitchen one day, after I had re-enlisted into college after a two year absence. I moved in with my old friends and she was new and blonde and black clothes. We all were then. And she came with Mike later, who became a funny, comical character around the house. He was in a band, as were so many of our friends then. He lived with like five other guys over at Dead End Alley - named that for the street sign just outside their house. Minneapolis was and is a cold place with generously warm hearts and a ton of community. But he was suffering. And Liberty helped in so many ways. She'd made an appointment with him with a psychologist or some such. The day before the appointment, he climbed into a car in the carport of Dead End Alley and hitched a tube between the exhaust pipe and the window.

He is my inspiration. Every autumn. It used to be every day, then every week, then month, then he just kind of melted into my own thoughts and personality. He has become a talisman in a way. Live now. Life is short. Live well. Live with all the emotions of life. Life is bigger than just happiness. Life is broader than just joy. Life is all the pain and sadness and hatred and depression and happiness and success. Life just fucking is. And this is his gift to me.

I can still see him standing there.

Slightly goofy and too smart for his own good.

And I'm smiling now. Laughing even!

God, he's given me a good thing.

Life is short. It should be lived to the fullest in any way possible.



Yah.

Yeah.

Well, here's to Mike. And to my friends Eduardo and Juan Pablo and Kimberley. For tonight. We hadn't seen each other since last year and they invited me for beers. We were close in varying degrees last year. Degrees that came and went like waves. Disgust, anger, rejection, friendship, confidence, love, hatred, jealousy, indifference. But we had such good talks tonight. There are some people in life that are just that. Friends in unique degrees, who are deeper friends than we know, revealed to us only in special moments. These people are ... well, I hope never to lose them. Like Dasha. She is far from me but we are friends. I know this without having to read her words. But it's icing on the cake to see a sentence from her. I'm not afraid of being far from my friends because I know I can find them again. Petty, but Facebook has helped this triple-fold. Regardless of it, I am so fortunate to know that my friends, family, loved ones are out there - in the world. Rooting for me. Working on just causes. Loving each other. Loving life. This sustains me. And, my god, I'm so fortunate for this knowledge and feeling.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Thank YOU.
yes, YOU.

Life is short. Be it. Live it. Be here now.

The roar from afar that is Euro Cup

It is 85F in Geneva. The sun has turned me a golden brown and I'm no longer burning red under it. Although at the top floor of the old building I feel hot and the breeze is not enough. It is summer...!!

Well, finished the last weeks of May in a blur and a half-assed happiness. Given more time, I would have done better in everything. Now, I just hope I passed. Grades are available this week, but they're not mailing them out. I just so happen to have to go back for a business meeting (about the Global Public Policy Network Student Conference this fall) this coming Fri-Mon so hopefully I can end the awful suspense and receive full confirmation that I did, indeed, suck this past semester. I realize now why my prof from first semester said my paper could be publishable. I spent so much more effort inside that theme and on paper. Second semester there just wasn't adequate time to delve into each subject.

Sigh.

The last three weeks were littered with days like this: Econ 1b class, 1st year meeting (review), Amartya Sen, Matt in town, dinner with Cuba group. Or, Bridget visit, Global paper due, Econ exam review, GPPN meeting with Anand, Conflict Management paper review meeting, dinner with Bridget. Now, my ex-co-workers will confirm that I thrived in our schizophrenic days where one minute it was a volunteer training, a lobby visit, hiring interns, tracking legislation, health care meetings. But this year has felt more schizo and more multi-tasked than I felt before. And many of my friends left without announcement, possibly never to be seen again - off to summer internships and then another school in our dual-degree program next fall. My heart felt torn and my mind wiped out.

So, work happened and my mind moved and friends came. Matt and I had baguette lunch with his traveling friend, Bart, down by the Seine where it was less windy and a bit more sunny. Bridget came and, after 15 years, it only took us 20 minutes to settle back intohttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif each other as friends. We let ourselves sleep late and do our own thing during the day. She visited Rimbaud and I spent quick hours at school. We met for dinner and laughed over the über American tourists. And when I was free all day on Saturday, we went through and around and into Paris. The back way to the Sacre Coeur (thank you, Josh and Sarah!), such a perfect day, into the Museum of Montmartre to see the history of absinthe but to leave wondering where to find it.

[The giant roars as Spain kills 3 goals in 5 minutes... sorry make that Spain 4 and Italy 2 .. in the last 7 minutes - good lord!]

Up the back way to the Sacre, around its outside, through a lovely garden, down a side street into the rain and scamper under the cover of an awning of a little bistro. The nicest bartender ever. I'll go back for a salad and beer sometime soon. The corner of Rue Custine, Rue Labat, and Rue Ramey.

We left after a few hours and beers (me, drinking beer in the middle of the day, in the middle of finals prep - I felt giddy and heady and ooo what fun!) and meandered through the street to all of a sudden end up in African market land. Literally, turned a corner and there were glorious bodies of shimmering fabric, hands full of sacks of groceries, children tottling before or after, the smell of chicken roasting, saffron. Bridget is more comfortable than I am, after confronting her shyness of African women (I told her I thought that it was perhaps that they carry such mystery and magic, power and essence within layers of beautiful robes; she told me that they do have the power - they do the accounting, they portion out the shares, they labor in the field but they have the purse strings). She leads me into the fabric stores to show me the multitude of designs and colors from floor to ceiling stacked high. And then, we go on a walk through the Rue de la Goutte d'Or and then to find a bathroom.

Bridget tells it better than I have:

########

"vote football (a story)"

walking through a beautiful arab and african quarter of paris, we were
in search of a bathroom - fast. past bakeries and mosques we could not
be deterred because that's how bad lauren had to go. little old men
sitting on stools in front of big city old doors. selling something or
maybe just passing the time like in the old country. kids holding
dad's hand as they strolled the narrow walkways. elegant fabrics
sneakily pouring out of the tops of storefront doorways. we walked on
in a general direction toward something on the horizon. a field of
train tracks below gave way to a space in the skeye that told us which
direction to follow to gare de l'est.

the skeyes was dimming and it wasn't looking good for umbrellaless
urban-explorers. finally we reached a choice in the path where the
decision was immediately obvious. continue down the narrow street or
take a set of steps down to a mini-courtyard that seemed to be
bouncing around a soccer ball. we took the steps and when we arrived
at the bottom, a group of young boys ignored us very well. we were in
the way of their soccer game but they weren't going to make it
obvious. they were copying some of the best moves that they saw from
their favorite footballers on t.v. and seemed to be in a hypnotic
state about it. two white ladies in search of a bathroom could not
compare to the obstacle that their defense offered them.

until... until, i without thinking ran up to them deciding i wanted to
play too. i guess i was feeling 10 years old and didn't think of
obstacles either. but when i approached the kid with the ball, his
eyes got big, he retreated from the ball and shrank in physical size
to an image i could barely see. i realized right away what happened.
being young black immigrant african boys in a mostly white parisian
culture didn't leave a lot of room for safety. they were protecting
themselves EVEN if they had to leave their probably most prized
possession behind: their soccer ball. they were ready to run from ME!
a weird white lady and leave their game - their dream...

it felt like crap. i felt like crap. such a huge worldly pain, regret,
and guilt crept over me and i too cowered away in the opposite
direction.
trying to reconcile embarrassment, racism, pain, oppression, and all
of the embedded junk that goes with it, i got lost in my head feeling
really weird and uncomfortable. lauren still had to go to the
bathroom. but she watched the whole thing happen. and by the time i
got within whispering distance to her, all i could say was: 'those
kind of experiences are important to have to.' she replied with the
obvious, that they thought i was going to beat them up or take their
ball or something like that - i don't remember exactly. but then she
said the most memorable, 'that's why you have to try again.' i think i
said 'WHAT?' still recovering and imagined being in recovery mode for
a few days or weeks... she said 'you have to try again' and
simultaneously realized that the public library just across the street
probably had a bathroom. she began to disappear in that direction as i
mulled over her comment.

hmmm. what the heck. so i went back to the game and gently, in my
nicest french, quietly asked them if i could play. they stared and me
and were of course weirded out. who is this lady? and what does she
want? i couldn't have answered the question either, so i am glad that
it was their eyes and not their mouths that asked me. they were
hesitant, but finally the leader put me in the least desirable
position on the court yard bumpy rocky 'field' that was starting to
get quite slippery from the french drizzle. i became their goalie.
which freed them to show off their best footwork even on pavement that
may as well have been ice.

with my back to the steps, i was guarding a space between a railing
and a wall. it was too big for the number of amazingly dexterous kids
running at me in the rain, but i didn't complain. i just strapped my
backpack on tight. pushed up my sleeves, and awaited the plummeting of
goals over my head, through my legs, under my arms, and too far for my
slippery reach in both directions.

eventually they started calling me madame and told me to take my
backpack off so i could be more comfortable. a few smiles started to
creep up on their pro-footballer faces and a few times their was as
much laughter falling as their was rain. we were lucky to be semi
under cover and only the ground was really getting wet - which i
repeat was NOT easy to maneuver. it felt like a game of broom ball on
the frozen over baseball field of a mid-western town. with just a
soccer ball and a bunch of friends these kids knew how to have fun
despite their surroundings. they found a field half the size of a
tennis court with buildings on two sides, steps on one, and a street
on the other. it was clear they had been playing there for awhile.
because they knew with exactly how much force they had to kick the
ball in order to pass it to a distant teammate but not kick it as far
as the street. i was the only one who ever kicked it into the street.
big faux pas. big eyes.

i have to say, i did make a few saves and got quite sweaty in the
short time that i played, but for the most part it was evident that
these boys were the football heroes, and i was not.

lauren came back at some point, but i didn't notice her for quite some
time - being so immersed in my game. when i did look up she was
smirk-smiling from behind her camera. on a high note i left the game
and joined her, watching from the sidelines. she said after she went
to the bathroom, she had a chance to vote in the library. the question
was: should immigrants be allowed to vote in local elections? an
interesting juxtaposition of experiences... it sure would be nice if
the parents of these kids could have a voice in the decision making of
their community. i can just see these boys as professional footballer
casting their ballots ten years from now.


#########


The photos are in progress. I'm right now working on the ones from my friends the Family Sarnowski visit back in the end of April. Yes, that far behind. But... now I have time, my friends!!

**this was finished on 23 June - I'm not ready to talk about the internship yet, but today was a good day at the United Nations.**

Paris on quick takes between surviving grad school

My great friend Bridget came to visit last week, right in the middle of paper-writing hell. I am, of course, again, right in the middle of paper-writing hell. But she was kind enough and smart enough and loves Paris enough to tour around on her own during the days while I had meetings or last classes or finished my 10-pager on Globalization (actually ended up being 16 without the bibliography). Then, I put things down and got my groove on. We had such a fantastic time. Walked for hours and then hours more. I'll detail more later. ... of course, this post is not about Paris because when I am in Paris I have no time to write posts, but when I am in paper hell I make time to procrastinate and write posts about this.

I hope this will all change a) between my trip to Italy with my bad ass sister and taking off to Geneva in June and b) when I'm in Geneva trying to find the cheapest cheap things to do. Then, I will write like mad and maybe get a book out yet.

Anyway. Right now, I have hated the U.S.-Colombia Trade Agreement, hated Cuba AGAIN since we had to turn our awesome powerpoint into a paper, and now am hating everything about the The Fed and why it is been given more oversight and why the SEC and CFTC will be merged. [Debating which question will be answered: What has been the effect of the subprime crisis on the principal-agent relationship between the US government, the Federal Reserve System, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), and the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC). --OR-- How did the existing delegation arrangements among the U.S. government and the independent regulatory agencies, specifically The Fed, the SEC, and CFTC, affect the responses to the subprime crisis? Why did the arrangements create that response?] Also, I am hating graphs and equations and word problems - all on my final exam in Microecon tomorrow.

So, anyway... This is a nice break and good to know:

"Surviving the first year: a positive attitude, strong commitment, and lots of coffee." Although it comes from "How to survive your first year of graduate school
in economics" by Matthew Pearson it's appropriate for any grad school degree. Wonderful things like:

--No matter what you like about economics, I can guarantee that you will spend a fair bit of time your first year studying material that you do not like. Statements like, “this is not what I came here to study,” or, “this is not why I like economics,” or even, “this stuff is not economics at all,” are heard from time to time.

--It is quite common to feel like you are the only one not understanding the material, even when your colleagues impress upon you that their difficulties are significant as well. If you are struggling with feelings that you are an impostor, that you do not deserve or are not prepared enough to be here, remember that the admissions process
works, and you are here for a reason. .... Often these feelings come from fear of success as much as fear of failure.

--Wanting to give up: This is so common that it is often a running joke among
first-years. Resist these feelings. You have to want the Ph.D. more than life itself,
and willing to nearly kill yourself to get it. The first year is about learning that
survival is not all about intelligence, nor passion, but commitment. Unless you’re
Goedel or something, then of course, this’ll seem like math for idiots. But if
you’re a mere mortal from the humanities, you’re going to end up like those kids
on Real Genius screaming and going nuts. Watch Real Genius, actually. That
movie is, emotionally, kind of the right movie that you may relate to.


This is where I stopped and wanted to buy and watch Real Genius. I remember loving this film as a kid. Not even for the fact that Val Kilmer was the hot kid on campus who didn't care about studying. But because I could relate somehow, with only being in 6th grade. It was the idea that LIFE in general could be so high pressured that people would run down the hall screaming, that one had to balance this with a sense of humor and a bit of strangeness. Granted, my life at age 12 wasn't so high stressed, but I could tell I was supposed to internalize this for my future sanity. It was hilarious and mysterious and funny and liberating. And of course, there was a good guy who beat the bad guy and got the girl - "American optimism," my Microecon prof called it recently.

Speaking of, enough procrastinating. Back to the numbers and graphs and blah blah.

I'll be done with the final exam tomorrow and will write my heart out on the Fed paper. A few Madison friends come to town on Thursday, including an ex-colleague Jennie, an ex-boyfriend Paul and his girlfriend Melissa. They've been relaxing in the south of France so I'm excited to hear their stories. I hope to be totally done with this paper by next Sunday AT THE LATEST. Monday at 7am my sister arrives in Paris. Tuesday we fly to Venice, rent a car and tool over to Cinque Terre, Florence, and whatever strikes our fancy. Then, I fly back, attend the 2nd years graduation ceremony, with the President of Brazil as the key speaker. Hang out and sleep for a week and then pack a bag and move over to Geneva for 2.5 months. ... Man, where has the time gone!?!?!?

.. Ok, now I really mean it. Enough procrastinating...

What have I done and who do I thank

1) Thank the Chinese.
Global Imbalance:
My dad wrote, "Is this at all good news???" First, it's strange, delightful, and very cool that my dad is asking me questions. He's always known more than me - and he will always know more about all things scientific or mathematical, and probably financial - so for him to ask me about something makes me very proud. (Not that he's never asked, mind you. I'm also very lucky to have parents who teach me and simultaneously acknowledge that they've learned from me.) Anyway. After a month of reading and many, many, many group meetings I think I have some substantial input on this question. Granted, if I wanted to have real input I'd have to go for a PhD in econ.

Here's what I wrote back:
"Good and bad. ... you're 1 day late on this link though - I gave my presentation y'day. ;) We've got a shared docs folder for each of our class presentations so I've saved this article there. Thanks for sharing!

It's a very long explanation which I'm going to attempt to write about on the blog. Essentially the USD needs to depreciate because of the drastic global imbalance between US and several other surplus countries (esp China - hence our push that they appreciate the Yuan and have better, more flexible money market), but this depreciation will hurt us adn the world because of a catch 22: USD is world currency and the most invested market. So, our $ goes down, our exports go up (we make money for our "store" called USA), our consumption goes down (we can't buy as much with our weak dollar), China's imports to us go down, we shrink our deficit, they shrink their surplus. But this also means that stocks, Treasury bills (that the chinese purchase with money from selling their exports to us) lose value which means their investment starts to mean less, which means people will move their money to another market - Euro? This means, we lose jobs in the US, lose production, lose the reign of world currency. And that's only a small portion of it. A lot of our deficit is owed to oil imports because it's an inelastic good - the price might go up but our consumption remains the same. Also, China's culture of saving (leftover from the Asian crisis & history of instability) means they won't consume our products as much = they aren't spending down their huge surplus. Also, our culture of spending/consuming since the Great Depression. We were starting to save as a country between 40s-80's but then hit the tech boom/production boom/investment boom and started spending more than saving, relying on credit more (I factor in here!). Who's carrying our credit addiction? The Chinese, the Asians, the oil barrons. And the great fear is that at some point our market is going to tank from partying hard for so long. When that happens it could be disastrous to the world who has invested in our markets - domino effect. So, we need to devalue the dollar a bit, we need to save more (yes yes what you've been saying ALL my life; Addendum: "You Can't Take It With You"), the gov't needs to tax us more, it needs to stop spending so much (twin deficits = foreign trade & budget!), we need to tighten our belts. And those countries who've been gluttonous in saving need to go on a shopping spree a bit.

So... i can write that now after about a month of reading and group meetings. i'm going to tally up my hours spent on this subject because it's insane how much i read just to understand global imbalance, current account balances in general and then to understand the US's position on how to address it. Man! the group meetings were interesting, too. 2 Indians, 1 Iranian, 1 USA, 1 China. Very interesting interactions, dynamics and learning."

[No additional editing has been done to the above. I'm sure it needs some but I've moved on from global imbalances. If you have questions, please feel free to direct them to me.]

1a) My memo to Shell in 1995 concerning their options in addressing a possible crisis in Nigeria.

1b) In our Scenario Planning class, we look at the future of Cuba. You can view our slide presentation here. (Guess who did the layout? Photos are from a million people/places all over the 'net. Hope I don't get sued. If you have the Mambo Kings album, the sound might work for you, as well. Or, just imagine "Guantanamera" for the first 4 slides. "Yo soy un hombre sincero / De donde crecen las palmas / Yo soy un hombre sincero / De donde crecen las palmas / Y antes de morirme quiero / Echar mis versos del alma / Chorus: Guantanamera / Guajira Guantanamera)

1c) An interesting article on the Sciences Po MPA in Le Monde (French) here. Quoted are two of my classmates, Sean who is West Point grad and retired early after being in Iraq for a while, and Preeti who is a lawyer from India.

2) My trip to Geneva was awesome. Ditched out of class a bit early to make it to Gare de Lyon. Of course, the metro all of a sudden had problems at Concorde, which sent a bit of panic through me. But thanks to my years of second-hand military training, I had given myself enough time in case of emergency. Luckily, the problem was fixed and we carried on to the station. At GDL I got my e-ticket from the machine and eying the long line at the Info booth, asked a woman if she knew where I'd get the TGV schedule to Geneva. Another testimony to the incorrect assumption that French are rude or unhelpful, she pointed out the big board in front of my face (without ridicule) and said that 20 minutes before departure, the gate would be available but that they either left from this large platform or another one across the way. Twenty minutes is not a lot of time between realization and finding one's seat, ahem. Thankfully, my train left from the main platform.

Sat next to a guy reading "Sur la Route." Yes, exactly, "On the Road" by Kerouac. Very good sign for me. I started to do some reading in preparation for the up-coming group presentation on Global Imbalances (see above, or see this PPT here; appendix is here). But then, the guy sitting next to me asked if I worked in Geneva and we began a really nice conversation. He works in GIS mapping and spoke s much English as I do of French. I learned that what I thought was mustard between London and Paris on the Eurostar is actually colza (used as an oil or biodiesel).

The older woman sitting across the aisle from us also chatted me up after my seat companion debarked. She's the wife of a retired career UN guy, with an apartment a few blocks away from me in Montmartre. She gave me her number in case I ever needed anything in Geneva. Totally nice.

Got to town. Bought a croissant in the train station just to absorb everything. I had time and it was still daylight and was drizzling a bit. Located the automatic bus fare machines and found #5 easily to head off to Home Saint Pierre, the Lutheran hostel for girls and women. (Normally I don't gravitate to sex-separation for my activities or accommodations, but this was the cheapest and most available at 28chf, which is roughly $1=1chf.) I thought Paris was pretty international - although I tend to hear more French, English, Russian, German, and then other Nordic languages and then other EU languages - but Geneva, of course, in its internationalism, I hear more of everything and then more of languages I've never heard before. I felt at home in this soupy mix.

I got off the bus at Place Neuve where men were playing giant chess in the drizzle. This is the old town of Geneva, all the way up the hill. Cobblestones like Paris. Old walls, old façades. I got a bit lost and asked a Latino-looking guy if he knew where the church St Pierre would be. He didn't, but answered me very nicely in French. I called the hostel and the very German sounding woman told me how to get there. I took a left and down stairs instead of a straight and right. Anyway. Found the place, checked in (her warmth left a little to be desired but I'm not young, nor am I afraid of new places), and went over to the dormitory for my bed. It feels a bit more lonely to have just a bed, like it's barracks or something. But I chatted up the young women there and discovered that one of them was from Paris, Sciences Po doing research for her thesis.

Went off to look for dinner possibilities and ran into the Latino (Peruvian) guy from before. He and I exchanged emails and he pointed me to a nearby Italian restaurant, at which I was served yummy pizza and Swiss wine (not as yummy) by a Portuguese server who spoke Spanish, English, French, and Portugal Portuguese (she slightly scoffed clarification when I asked if it was Brazil or Portugal). Got to bed rather early and got up rather early. After all, I was going to the HOLY %&$# United Nations!!!!

Check-out was at 10am so I packed everything and took the 7chf breakfast at the hostel, left the luggage, hiked down the hill, found the same #5 bus, passed the train station, passed UN Concil on Human Rights (wow), stopped at the official Palais des Nations entrance (where the photos of all the flags lined up are taken), hiked quickly up the hill to the other entrance. Through x-ray check and to security to check-in. Some kind of delay with checking and emails and if they knew before and had he sent the notice. Meanwhile, this nice woman who kind of helped me know I was in the right line at the right entrance was rolling her eyes and being a bit too overly critical and impatient of the process for my liking. But my future boss came down to meet me, I got the ugly photo pass (worse than a driver's license), and he walked me over to the UNECE and our floor.

He gave me the grand tour and by that I mean I got to meet the woman with whom I'd be working quite a bit, as well as the chief of the department. I'm walking a fine line in my blog between what I can/should share and what I know would be inappropriate. So, nah nah boo boo you don't get all the insider scoop on the UN. Suffice it to say the building still reflects the time period when it was built and offices are rather bare, bland, and unlively. Of course, consider also the amount of official business that is conducted in each and I guess one can't have a big dart board next to one's desk.

I met with the intern coordinator, who happens to be from Minnesota and graduate of University of Wisconsin. And then met all the interns who were around at the time. Very nice folks all of them. Very comfortable and very funny. Me, dressed in my nice suit pants, kitten heels, blue blouse, and pearls all thinking, oo the UN better dress nicely. The interns, all dressed in jeans and tee-shirt or definitely summer wear. They told me it usually took an intern an average of a week to ditch the business wear for the casuals. I think I'd like to keep a step up on the jeans wear though - just because of my age, my interests in future jobs, and to be kind of in the 'real world' despite my laziness and love of everything comfortable and easy.

The interns are, of course, from all over the world but most seem to be hailing from Europe and then more concentrated in the Eastern block. The unique thing about the UNECE is its focus on Russia and the Eastern countries to I guess that's why the predominance of interns from those regions - translation is a big activity for them. Interns from all departments are located in this area on the Stats Division floor since I guess they have the most empty offices. I sat with and talked to a young woman from Germany who works in the Environmental Policy division. Just so happened she mentioned that she had a great roommate in the old part of town and that she'd be ending her internship in May and leaving and maybe I'd be interested in talking to her roommate about the flat. She warned me that the place wasn't new and had a 5th floor walk up (ha! mine in Paris is 6) and the roommate is creative and so is the place. It sounded perfect to me as she described it. Just so happened the roommate was free at 3pm to meet me.

Next, I sat with the social coordinator intern, from Latvia. She'd been at the UNECE for a while and was coordinating outings, happy hours, etc for all the interns to bond.

I went back to my future boss as it was noon, and we headed to the cafeteria of the world.


..... it's bedtime for me now.. I'll finish this tomorrow. School's kind of winding down. May means 3 papers, a French exam, an Econ exam and then also visits from friends all over the world. The weather has been amazing here lately, with highs in the upper 70s and a lovely breeze. The metro is starting to feel heavy in air so I'm preferring the bus. Pants are folded for shorts and skirts. Skin can breathe again. Parisians seem happier. I'm super excited for this month but also a bit wary of how to balance it all. C'est la vie.

Oh, and if you're interested in hopping on the export/import train, my birthday's the 13th. There are two links upper right side that point to fun things on Amazon that I like. I'd be happy to ship you anything you request from Europe.

Always been a B student

Well, grades are in. This means that I now feel confident enough to share with you some of my work this past semester.

A bit of translation, which isn't encouraging in my mind.
No one gets an A+
No one should get a B-

A = Outstanding, 4.0
A- = Excellent 3.7
B+ = Very good 3.3
B = Good 3.0
B- = Pass, but with some unsatisfactory elements 2.7
the rest we won't go into, although it does continue to F.

Situating Ourselves in Complex Settings: A-
Stats: A
Governance State Restructring and Policy Change: A
MicroEcon: B+
Global Governance: Regulation, Adjudication, Dispute Settlement: A-
Managing Innovation in the Globalizing Learning Economy: B+
Total: A-

French, well, French is an optional course and of course, I'm treating it a bit as such -- how does a teacher grade my incredible skills in the ordering of "Les Petits Farçis Du Moment Au Coulis De Persil" or the frequent times I'm asked for (and give) directions or my perfect accent when cursing? Anyway, I got a B.

I'd say the above evaluations are pretty accurate to how I felt about the courses and how much I actually gave in effort. Although, Stats and Micro. Totally should have failed those in my opinion, but then again one can't take a test on "how much knowledge has increased from zero to now?" Although that's what exams and papers are supposed to do, they can't really do that very well for such a steep curve. Or, perhaps the grades above reflect that. I don't know.

I'm really not a very verbal person in large, professional groups so I'm sure I was deducted for low class participation. That's changed a little bit this semester. I figure that if the Asians are asking questions (who are known for traditionally not speaking out in class - it's seen as disrespectful to the professor), I should, too.

Had my one-on-one meeting with the professor for State Restructuring. Remember the paper on prostitution policies of the Netherlands and Sweden? (Aside: the Netherlands is called the Pays-Bas in French - literally the County Below : Nether Lands. Very cool.) Well, I was one of the top 3 papers of our class. Woot woot!

Finally! I needed so badly to be graded and critiqued. Hahahah... No. Really. This was the first time writing papers in over 10 years. Two of the classes involved group work, which is impossible to get actual individual analysis. And my paper for Global Governance "The Global Response to Cybercrime: Standards, Negotiation, National Procedures, and Global Security" got a one-liner of feedback along the lines of "Good work but you related it too much to only the Convention." (Secretly, looking back, I was not thrilled with this paper at all. The intro is HORRIBLE!)

But the prostitution paper, which I really got into while researching and writing it, got good marks from the professor and he recommended I publish it in a journal. Hence, you will not be reading it online yet as I'm sure there are some copyright conflicts on that. The 3 of us who were encouraged to publish will be meeting together to see how we can work with the administration to achieve this. Seriously, with the workload I've got right now there's just no way to do it 'on the side.'

My colleague, Gerrit, published our innovation paper. Sadly, this does not incorporate your individual responses to our survey. In the time allotted we were able to focus only on our colleagues at the other schools within our Global Public Policy Network (Columbia U, LSE, Hertie, LKY, Sciences Po). You can check out the final product here (minus the graphs in our survey results, which you don't care about anyway because I wrote the theoretical framework). Alternatively, you can go over to Gerrit's personal website and download the whole thing - and see my fab pal, too!

You can also check out "The Global Response to Cybercrime" paper here

So, on to bigger and better things!

Shorts

started 1/12/08

I found out that a 2nd year student did a similar paper on prostitution last year, comparing policies in France and Netherlands using the framework of the actors involved, mainly feminists. My ego was deflated to know this. I won't read her paper very closely until I'm done with mine. Too much pressure.

Speaking of, I heard from 2 different 2nd year students that I seem too stressed out. They tell me to focus on my introduction and conclusion and kind of support it in the main body. They act as if paper writing is second-nature when I haven't written anything formal in about 12 years. At the time they said this my eyes started to slightly well with tears (chalked up to PMS and conviction), and I defended the idea of writing a paper for the sake of making a difference instead of getting a decent grade or getting something out of the way. Regardless, I want to take their noticing my stress as a lesson. I should relax a bit my Scandinavian worth ethic. Life will go on and I won't actually be able to write some brilliant Einstein paper introducing a terribly new idea. At least not in the first four months of school.

The 2nd year student who wrote on prostitution described it well - it's a seductive theme. I have started to eat and breathe the concept. What is right, what is wrong, what works, what doesn't. In Madrid, Rod and I were walking up a street near Metro Sol, the street known for sex workers. It was our second or third time walking up this street because it's a thoroughfare. A man started to yell at a woman in a doorway (she was clearly a sex worker). His language was mixed Spanish and another. This is not representative of the industry, mind you. I stopped in my tracks and turned to stare at him. If he would become physically abusive I would not stand for it. Only, I should have done more. I should have challenged his verbal abuse. I speak almost perfect Spanish. I should have called him on it. As we all do in hindsight, I should have pulled the ultimate card out, "What?! Your mother taught you to treat ladies this way??!" Instead. He stopped yelling and walked away. So did we.

Back in Paris: I came out of the Chinese restaurant with my take-out. The same panhandler was there that I'd encountered before. Last time, when he stuck his hand out - the first time I've seen this guy/kid - he asked, mumbling in French, for money for food. I shook my head and kind of said 'désolé' sorry. Under his breath, as I walked on, he called me a "fucking bitch." I was shocked. In English he said this. I didn't know what to do so I walked on. This time, coming out of the restaurant, he was there, mumbling something about money for food and I shook my head and split second realized it was him and hollared back over my shoulder, "And don't call me a fucking bitch!" He mumbled back after me, "Ok, sorry."

I wore girl shoes to school today. I really don't like girly things like make-up (too much time in the morning for it when I could be sleeping), high heels (my high arches ache), etc. But I had a presentation and wanted to add a bit of professional flair which for men includes shaving and a nice shirt and tie. For women it's (shaving) a nice shirt and heels - either kitten or high. Every girl shoe I've ever worn has caused me blisters and pain. My Converse never have. My gym shoes never have. My Steve Madden boots haven't. So I wore girl shoes from 9am-midnight. They drain you if they hurt. They make every step feel sharp and slow you down from striding across the street. They made me come up from the metro, after 2 lines and a lot of standing and getting distractedly lost on the way, and upon seeing the hookers standing on the stairs at the top, I sighed, "Home. Finally." This is the first time I recognized my metro and my neighborhood as home. It felt good to see their un-stockinged legs and see the neon of Monoprix. I even, slowly tip-toeing almost down the street, nodded to the 'arabe' grocer. I guess I'm settling in here.

I made a HUGE bowl of pasta shells mixed with tuna, peas, mascarpone, eggs, celery, and spices. It was inspired by a meal I had at Rod's on Christmas Eve. I think I cooked for a good 1-1/2 hours. It was a good break and now I have like a week of food. Now, I have to think of creative ways to eat it. Sandwiches. I wonder what it'd be like warm. I haven't eaten so many eggs-by-themselves in years, but the French make only a handful of sandwiches in their boulangeries: meat and crudité (which means raw vegetable to mean lettuce, tomato), crudité and cheese (Camembert or Gruyère), or crudité with egg and thon (tuna). Not that I miss hot dogs or hamburgers (heh, says the vegetarian). I am definitely getting my vitamins and minerals. Also, hence, why I've been making PB&Js on lovely French bread to take to school - mix it up a bit (lovely jam here, too - recently had some rhubarb yummy chunks of fruit in there!).

Both the stats paper and state restructuring papers are due tomorrow. Stats so far is a 7-page regression analysis on how education, feelings about the status of a home country's economy, and your partner's education influence your feelings about immigration. It sounds sexy. It's not. A bunch of writing words about numbers. I've got about 35% left on the paper on prostitution policy. (Well, that percentage has dropped over the past 14 hours despite the fact that I haven't done much on it.) With all the words in the paper - some will be chopped for sure in the editing process - I've got almost twice the recommended amount. Whew. Plenty to say. Good. Now, let's make it worthy of being said!

I think it's sad that our extended family is dividing up my grandmother's art work. Sure, on the one hand it's really wonderful that we're able to do this and that my aunts and uncle and dad are helping the process and that my grandma is facilitating (or so I imagine, with no basis for that). It's still sad, and too bad that the farm house can't just be converted into a really cool museum that will always smell special like warm Norwegian wood and Welsh air. I can see that house from entry way to basement nook, from measuring our giggling cousins up against the bathroom door to seeing knee-high while scooting around on a wooden toy tractor. I wonder how it looks now, covered in layers of snow and small lights glowing from its windows. I wonder how we'll all keep the tradition of seeing our faces change.

Back in the saddle of Sciences Po

For family and friends: I realized that not all the events in my life were making it to the Mac calendar. This has been rectified. Notice, if you click on certain events in the calendar you get the notes on that event, ie the trip to the Indian Embassy for my visa for the February trip (see Jan 10th). This might be interesting for lectures. Also, I prefer the view in monthly as opposed to daily. Either way - fun &... super packed!!

It's super busy right now. I imagine that all the museum-seeing, lazy walking, new-restaurant-trying, and general getting-to-know-Paris will have to wait a bit longer now. I'm all about papers this month. That, and fabulous visits from friends, too. My previous professor from undergrad '99 in Minneapolis is coming to visit with his wife (he also wrote letters of recommendation for me to get into grad school). They sound like pretty chill travelers who like mapping out their visits by where they want to eat, walking around the city-as-museum, and going out a bit at night. Good thing because I really don't need high maintenance right now.

Anyway.

Here's the first day back to the 'Po.

"Jet Lag"

Between 4 papers, a few notes

NUMERO UNO: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMANA MIA!!!! You look one day more beautiful! xoxo


1) Don't believe the hype. The world is not filled with terrorists out to get the USA. It *is* filled with people who dispise Bush and think Americans are stupid for re-electing him. But don't believe the Republican Presidential candidates when they say "be very afraid, cower, they're coming with the Atom bomb, you must hire me to protect you." And if the Dems start saying that, by god, call 'em on it.

2) I am growing a bit tired of defending or explaining my country of birth (notice: not country of growth or country of favorite countries or country where I chose to stay to do my grad work because damnit it's so great). I try in broken French to explain how I am fed up with Bush and how sorry I am for all the damage he's done to the world. I try to feel calm when a speaker/lecturer/person with whom I am speaking says several negative things in a row (almost all justified) about "America" when really they mean "Many of America's Administrations and A Lot of America's Bad Movies and Most of the Commercialism That You've Exported or Allowed Leave Your Country or Voted into Office." Also, we need to start remembering to dissociate America from The United States. My fellow Americans, from Canada to Mexico to Colombia to Chile to Argentina, don't like being associated with the America of Imposed Democracy of the US Flavor. And, *I* am not American or United Statesian in that fashion. I tell them (when it's appropriate - I'm not about to raise my hand during a workshop and say, "I'd like to clarify here that *I* in fact worked for 6 years to fight Bush's policies and didn't sleep for weeks in order to get my own state Wisconsin to vote blue." It would be tacky to turn the spotlight on me), yes, I do tell them that I did do those things and that I don't buy into buying big cars and big houses and more and more and more and more. I reduce, reuse, recycle - do you, Mr/Ms Frenchy? (Such a disapointment to see the paper mixed with the banana peels.) I tell them I don't think the Iraq or Afghan wars were justified and I supported legislators who said so, but it would be a fuckall if we ditched the countries without some kind of support structure (excuse the French). I try to tell them that I'd like to make the world a better place but usually I feel like that's a bit overstating my own powers - and seems very American - what's a better place? From whose perspective?

3) The restaurant on the corner is owned by an Indian. The shisha bars are owned by Moroccans. The new, single bed was delievered - and kindly put together - by Algerians. The boulangeries are run by French. A lot of the prostitutes and their pimps in the hotel next door are Russians. There are two massage parlors (with happy endings I think) across the street owned by Thais. My tailor and his assistant are Turk and Romanian respectively. Around the corner I've got super fried juicy Chinese food made by Chinese folks. Downstairs a few doors over, a Japanese restaurant. The woman who presses clothes in the laundromat is Colombian. Yes, I really am living and going to school in international, real world places. I don't know that I would have gotten quite this exposure in Chicago, Philly, or even London. Although, I might not get this kind of living community in other arrondissements either.

4) I am proscrastinating my papers.

5) Paris hit 32F today. It doesn't feel that cold to me though. Probably due to the lack of snow. I can see my breath outside and it's super grey cloudy. But NO SNOW! YAY!!!!

6) I got my packages in the mail today - 2 people in front of me in line only! Then again, I was at the poste at 1pm. Also, PP & Family - he said it'd take a week. Hm. Curious. I'd like to see how true this is.

7) I made a law! Or at least, that's what I want on my invisible gravestone. And a do-gooder law at that. Ok, ok, I didn't make it, and I certainly didn't make it alone and it isn't a law yet, but I did help make the "Compassionate Care for Rape Victims" bill and get it through the Wisconsin legislature in 6 years. I stayed up until 1am to catch the Assembly floor debate but they were in caucus that time. So, I asked my rockstar ex-colleagues to ping me on Skype when they went to the floor on our issue. Slept until about 5am when Andrea pinged me to wake up! wake up! wake up! Only they weren't on our issue yet. So I napped until 6am (I had already emailed my French prof that I wouldn't be in class). Woke up miraculously to the quiet call on Skype again. Got to hear the whole twisted, ugly, wonderful floor debate. Some legislators - even women - can be assholes toward rape survivors. It's shocking really. Thank goodness for the WI Eye though because now people can see them being so in real time - and later... for advertisements... or additional public viewing.... at crucial times... like maybe... election season. And again, I was in admiration of my ex-intern superstar, who during the 2nd month of her year+ long internship started speaking out about her own experience with sexual assault and the empowerment of being offered a decision about her own life through the question "Would you like to take a pregnancy preventative, Emergency Contraception?" More than I, SHE made the law.

8) We've had all the presentations on our dual-degree partners: London School of Economics, Colombia in NYC, Hertie in Berlin, Lee Kuan Yew in Singapore. While I feel like I should go to Hertie in Berlin for all the practical reasons (cost, cost, cost), I think I need to follow the goals and dreams and stay here. It's exciting when people ask me if I'm going home for the holidays and I say, "Nope, I'm here for two years!" I don't think people understand it really. Why don't I want to go home? Why don't my parents love me anymore? Why doesn't my sister miss me? How could I spend the holidays ALONE? How could I not want to go BACK to my country? - I see this flash quickly across their faces. And I follow my statement up, "I told them, if they want to see me, they have to come to Paris! .. So sad, isn't it? Forced to visit Paris." and then "It's really not unusual for my family. Being in the military, we travelled a lot and spent a lot of holidays outside of the States. Plus, I'll see them next spring. Yes, I've spent Christmas away from my family. Actually, that Christmas in Portugal was momentarily kind of hard. About 4 of us exchange students were travelling in Lisboa and it was pouring rain and we took turns huddling under the umbrella and making the long-distance call home. What really got me was hearing my whole, extended family at my grandparents' farm. That's what I missed. But it's a bit different now. I'll miss them, but I'm SO excited to be away from the US and be in a foreign language country. Also, I might go to Madrid for Xmas. And, I've got friends in Paris who have all graciously offered me to join them for any holidays I can. So, no, my family haven't stopped loving me. No, I don't really want to go home yet. Nope, I won't be alone - if anything I'm sure like any other country, the Chinese restaurants are open on the 25th... Although, this IS France where no one works on Sundays so who knows!"

9) Get food in french - check. Use public transport in french - check. Get different sizes of bras (insisting on using my foreign language) in french - check. Write an email in horrible french to my cool banker - check. Give a 5 min presentation on immigrants to France from 1800s-1914 in french - check. Go to the doctor in french and not die - check. Get appropriate medications and submit the receipts for reimbursement in french - check. Get wonderful wine weekly from the corner 'cave' in french - check. Order awesome cheese in french for faux thanksgiving dinner - check. Re-order minutes on my cellphone by listening to automated prompting operator chick in french - check. Explain my political "aslyum" in french - check. Know when to ignore 'em, when to hold 'em, when to walk away, when to run in french - check. Get a date in french - check. Turn someone down in french - check. Tried to slyly weasel the student rate at the Club Med gym to a guy who turned veiny and red-faced at the thought of *me* being 32 and trying to scam the *under 28* student rate, dude, I said, it's only a question, calme, I'm not trying to make you angry in french - check. Okay, I think I've officially passed culture shock and have moved into somewhat-self-sufficiency in a foreign language. Next step is, I'm sure, The Big Argument on the street or with some kind of administrative personnel. Or, maybe The Emergency - like a pipe bursts or something comes flying through the window. I know I can call my landlord, but sometime I'd like to see if I can hack it. This would be like, Level 9 of French As French Do.

10) There are some really cool things happening around the city right now and I hope I get to catch some of them sometime (aside from the cool thing like, getting my hair trimmed because it's growing so fast!). There's this new exhibit at the national library releasing France's huge collection of erotica. "France's official hoard of erotica and pornography, lovingly assembled by the Bibliothèque Nationale over a period of 170 years, will be thrown open to the startled eyes of the public for the first time this week." ... Then there's the Academie de Musique which I won't be able to catch for the holiday season but will try for spring 08.

But for now... I need to stop procrastinating.

Happy holidays, everyone!!

xoxo

What's your opinion?

Subject: Survey on social and cultural capital and decision makers - we need your help

I recently developed a survey with two colleagues for our course, Managing Innovation in the Globalising Learning Economy.

The survey is designed for Master of Public Policy / Master of Public Affairs students in the Global Public Policy Network, and young to mid-career professionals. It is a portion of a group work project on the importance of cultural attractiveness of cities, the impact of that importance on economic growth, and the potential of attracting future decision-makers.

Take the survey!

(We'll collect final results for our paper on December 19th but feel free to participate any time.)

photos, policy, papers and rain

There are about 700 photos in the "Berlin" category. It's the down-side of digital cameras.

I'm thinking about policy all the time and how it's made. Luckily, unlike everyone else in the class, I have a good grasp on the practical steps, actors, processes, institutions, and politics behind policy making. Narrowing my topic down, but sticking to comparative analysis of prostitution laws: regulation, decriminalization, regulation. I absolutely love having access to all kinds of journals, Lexis Nexis, etc. So much knowledge! So much info!

More papers coming down the pipeline. Our last day of one of my classes today.

I went out last week for colleagues' birthdays and ended up at Favala Chic. Great dancing music but drinks at 10E is too much for me.

We celebrated a late Thanksgiving at my colleague, Dena's place. Those photos are forth-coming. She was so kind as to cook me up some nice salmon. I brought the French cheeses for tasting. Plenty of wine. Great company.

It's been raining since Sunday with only short intervals of dry. Seems like everyone's getting pounded with wetness in northern hemispheres. Hope the snow doesn't make its way over here. And I hope everyone's safe and sound!

More than just "Hello Bonjour"

It's a good day for school. While I did have to skip my 8am French and the 10am Situating Ourselves courses so I could start to figure out how to get a doctor's appointment, it was still a good day for class. (Don't worry mom, it's just a normal ol' sinus infection or something. I hear the French have great health care so I should be good to go at a cheap rate in no time.)

I do love my Le Gales "State Restructuring and Policy Change: Government and Governance" course. (you can read the PDF at the bottom of this website if you're so inclined.) Today, he gave a few minutes away from the (ahem, boring) readings on State Regulation Within the State to discuss our final policy papers (4,000 words our choice of topics) and then talked for about an hour with us on the state of France and the strike and Sarkozy. I guess it was the first time I really spoke up in class - since I was the one who emailed the request to discuss. Finally, I guess we all decided that it's definitely time for France to reform and catch up to the globalization playing field, but we're not sure if Sarkozy will do (or has been doing) it in the best manner possible. The French don't necessarily support the strikes this time around, but they're not all out counter-protesting (although some are) since they recognize that sometime in the future it might be their retirement plan Sarkozy comes after.

I caught my #68 bus this morning just as I was about to duck down into the metro to give it a try. I got the #68 back home - totally jammed crowded and crawling slowly through traffic jams. I'm sure the air pollution is doing wonders for my skin and lungs. Regardless, I totally support those folks on strike and I sympathize (especially since I have no idea what it's like to be a train operator), but I do agree that




The Times They ARE A'Changing
(c/o micoolcho in Singapore)

..............

Yeah, so I'm struggling with which policy I'll pick. He's recommended we do a comparative analysis of a policy in 2 countries/areas. We're also not supposed to do something we're familiar with - there goes CCRV. And, of course, we can't do overlapping projects either, ie turn this paper into my "Regulation, Adjudication and Dispute Settlement Beyond the State" class. (I'm thinking about looking at the recent cybercrimes in different countries and analyzing how they're being handled legally and with which international orgs.) In my "Managing Innovation in the Globalising Learning Economy" we're working in groups. I've been spending about 4-6 hours a week with these guys, one from Berlin and the other from Seoul - very cool. We're conducting a survey of future policy makers and current decision-makers, analyzing the impact of pop culture on Seoul and the cultural growth in Berlin after Reunification. It's called "Investment in Social Capital and Cultural Industry - An Argument for Advancing Policy to Enhance Economies of Metropoles." (I invented the title while looking over the application process to UNESCO - they ask for projects, papers, thesis in the CVs of potential interns.)

Whew. And then there's group work in Econ and some paper we're supposed to write in Stats, too. Thankfully our "Situating Ourselves in Complex Settings" class (Organizational Theory) is over tomorrow and it was more of a workshop than a class. We did group work (ugh) to analyze a colleague's previous work dilemma. We're all sworn to secrecy not to reveal any details as it could compromise the person and the institution. But basically it had to do with a large institution not following its own HR policies versus possible corruption with some folks pocketing money skimmed from around the edges. I'm not sure we resolved this one. But it was nothing compared to some dude who talked about the levels of corruption and outright illegal activity he witnessed in an unnamed South American country. Not so much 'org theory' as down-right f'd up ness.

I do like the way this program is really hands-on, not just theoretical, philosophical but we're digging in and doing. This Saturday we'll start four (voluntary) courses on Econometrics and really see how to analyze policy with statistics etc.. or something like that. Then, since there weren't enough 2nd year students signed up for one of the concentrations, "Political Economy of Welfare Reform" will be a lecture series open to all. I'm definitely doing both of these voluntary classes. I figure it's the only chance I'll get so why not. I'll see Paris soon.

Oh, and if you can't keep up - it's all updated on the Mac calendar. Including the Paris Photo exhibition that I did squeeze in for 4 hours on Thursday. I skipped out after my 2-min presentation to the presentation skills course (pass/fail, "taught" by a consultant, really lame). Lisa, I'll have you know I got my "grades" back today and all the students and the consultant chick gave me scores of good to very good. Thanks to you it's old hat, I guess. The calendar also includes the Interpol concert I hope to make on Wednesday night - metros and my health willing.

Dude, Nicole, were you around when I was obsessed with trying to win the KEXP giveaway for tickets to see them in Paris? I sent like a postcard a day - and even had to run over to the capitol to buy lame capitol postcards so I wouldn't miss a day. And then I found out they only wanted 1 postcard per person for the drawing. I was crushed. Well... It's Paris. It's Interpol. I hope I get some good drugs from the doctor. Mannnn...

PS. A short, funny description of the difference between strikes in Paris and the USA. I love the description of a manifestation - the one I witnessed on Wednesday near school, I'm almost 100% positive the striker guys were drunk.

Greve can tear people apart or bring them together

I'm not sure how I feel about La Greve. I haven't had enough time to process it really - which sounds utterly pathetic. I think I've found myself in a vicious circle - school is overwhelming which makes me feel overwhelmed by school which makes school overwhelming. I'm not sure what I lack (or have) that the other students have (don't have) in this capacity. They seem to have a lot more time to party and hang out and drink ans socialize and I feel like I'm constantly tiring my eyeballs out to read as much as possible. I'm starving for this information but now it's been heaped so high on my plate I can't even conceive of seconds or thirds or a whole 'nuther year and a half of dishing it out!

Anyway... Anne and I had a tense moment yesterday during the Greve. She said she didn't support the unions organizing to keep their retirement benefits and age and actually said she wanted to help Sarkozy because this lowered retirement age is affecting France's power to be competitive, etc. Since my days at PP I've been in favor of unions and I think if they don't stand up to Sarkozy now it's really downhill for their culture and interests. Anne comes from a private industry background, I'm from a non-profit background. Debate is good.

It took me 1-1/2 hours to walk to school on Wednesday morning (left at 8am). I was going to meet Magdalena and her girlfriend at l'Opera at 9am but I got there at 8:30am so I grabbed a bathroom stop via getting a coffee - Starbucks yuck, but convenient. We met up and walked - a lot more leisurely pace than I had carried down the hill - through the Louvre Tuileries, over the Seine as the sun was really starting to show its glow behind the buildings, and down through the city to Blvd Saint Germain.

A few buses were running but mostly it was a speedy parade of bikes, cars, scooters, motorcycles, rollerbladers, rollerskaters, and walkers. We got to school a bit early and ran into a portion of the Greve unions.



Global Governance class was all about cybersquatting: Judicial Globalization
1. World Intellectual Property Organization, Arbitration and Mediation Center, UDRP – Domain Name Dispute Resolution
2. Administrative Panel Decision, Excelentisimo Ayuntamiento de Barcelona v. Barcelona.com Inc., Case no. D2000-0505
3. United States Court Of Appeals for The Fourth Circuit, Barcelona.com Inc. v. Excelentisimo Ayuntamiento de Barcelona, no. 02-1396
4. ICANN-Rules for Uniform Domain Name Dispute Resolution Policy

It hurts my brain, invigorates my thinking, and astounds me - as I'm sitting there - that I'm learning about this stuff. Which starts that vicious cycle again. But, oh no, woe is me... poor me... walking 2.25 miles to school IN PARIS, feeling insecure about global law IN PARIS. It's still very surreal and still a gigantic rollercoaster. One day total self-assurance, the next complete insecurity.

I walked back after classes. My ipod wasn't working properly so I did without which is such a good thing. (No, no, I don't walk around the whole time with my ipod but it is good for the walk/run work-out to and from places sometimes.) There was so much noise and sound and discussion - so much LIFE in this city walking home in the dark.

Today, I tried the metro as RATP said they'd started running more frequently. But, of course, running metros means crowds and crowds. I watched a guy hold the doors open to the car for like 4 minutes while he really tried to shove himself in. The second metro and I tried to shove myself in - making a fool of myself no doubt. The third metro came empty! I got a seat which was fantastic and good viewing for the sardine action. It's comical but annoying, dangerous and community all at once. It took me 1-1/2 hours to get to school. HA!

On the way to the metro this morning, I walked from M: Blanche to M: Barbes. I must have looked too serious or pinched-face because all of a sudden I had this silly teenage boy's face in mine, fingers spread out from his head and tongue out. It definitely had the right effect. I started laughing and laughing while walking totally caught off guard! Perfect!

It is indeed the little things.

......

Tomorrow I'm off to the doctor visit and tax payment for the official carte de sejour - long-stay visa. I hear there's an x-ray, blood pressure check, tax payment of 55E, and then done deal.
3.07 miles to the doctor.
2.20 miles to school.
2.17 miles back home.

Between school and home, I think I might treat myself to a leisurely stroll through the Carrousel du Louvre for the Paris Photo exhibition.

I often wonder if there's some part of photography and writing that is playing itself out loudly within this grad school plan. Perhaps some of my struggle is in integrating all the pieces and right now only a few aspects are receiving the most attention in the 'grad school plan.' I've heard of many students attending Global Public Policy or Public Affairs programs to augment careers in journalism. I need to investigate that more.

Berlin on my mind, Paris in my heart

I just finished uploading 125 photos to the Berlin folder on Flickr. It's only Day 2 of the stay there of 6 so please be patient. Most of it is my walk from the wonderful apartment on Kanzowstraße to the Hertie School of Governance, my flatmates, the school, and a bit leading into our first real night there (girls on bikes). The hostess for our flat was actually at the "big kids" Global Public Policy Network conference in Singapore (along with 2 of our Sciences Po students) where they focused mainly on learning new pedagogic techniques and standards for accreditation. Our "little kids" student conference was the one in Berlin, the 2nd of its kind as London School of Economics hosted the first one this past March.

So, while the hostess was gone, we got to crash at her place. So very kind of her to offer it up. I ended up seeing a few interiors of flats while in Berlin. There's definitely a cookie-cutter aspect to some. Two of the ones I saw were identical - I mean identical - on the inside and about 10 blocks apart from each other. Shanaz was my flatmate and bedmate - suprising to the both of us. She's from the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy in Singapore and this was her first sight of autumn - I could only imagine the shock to her body and senses. In the guest room stayed Lu, also from the same school but originally from China so the seasonal change wasn't so foreign. Man, let me tell you the amazing discussions we had and how utterly patient they were with me. I mean, I was there for the conference primarily but also to socialize. And there was only one key for the whole flat. So imagine. I still think, embarrassingly, back on the lunch I had with colleagues in the US when my dad treated us and explained the biological effect of living in Buenos Aires on my constitution: I'm perpetually late to things and definitely a night owl. The truth can turn cheeks red!

The three of us ended up leaving the flat together every morning for 4 days, grabbing breakfast (coffee and a strudel treat for me, water and sandwiches for them) at the corner bakery (semi-chain sort of bakery/shop), waiting a bit for the tram (aka street car), and taking the 25 minute ride to Alexanderplatz and then walking to Schloßplatz in Mitte (map here for you map-philes). Yu and I had some very interesting discussions about the one-child policy of China and my family planning organizing background.

Once there, every day was nicely packed with speakers, panels, coffee breaks (proven to be the best starter for networking and ultimately power-brokering with the next Secretariats of the World), lunch in their totally Aramark-catered fantastic lunch room (the building is shared with ESMT - it's no wonder).

After a while I started to seriously consider applying to the dual-degree program and doing my 2nd year there. The academic program seemed spot-on, the facilities were futuristic compared to Sciences Po, the people seemed intelligent and warm, the weather familiar, the shopping so so so cheap, the food various and vegetarian, the beer wonderfully tall, the men more easy on the eyes, the night life more cutting edge, the English flowing in any situation, the horizon and time for Berlin very cutting edge and about to explode. All of these wonderful aspects and I looked at Sciences Po and Paris in my mind's eye and felt like I was attending an orphanage while visiting a palace. I felt a little like I should be defending my school and trying to remember why I loved it. But frankly, I've only been living here for 2 months and 1 day and attending actual classes for a month and half. I don't feel school spirit yet and at the price I'm paying (no help with the depreciation of the dollar, thank you) I feel like I need some serious vitamin shot of love!

But then I started seeing a bit of the reality. Sure, I was in a palace, but a palace with rigid, boxy structures and timeliness that hurt my soul. The cleanliness was too much (expect that I'd like to argue that the Germans let their dogs poo more on the sidewalks than the French do, thank you). The aim of the academics seemed wonderful (it was one of the programs I applied to but I had made my decision on Paris before I heard confirmation or rejection), but not quite as roomy as my program.

I realized I missed the stink of Paris. The chaos. The strikes (more coming this week). The overwhelming density of the city. I feel empowered here to fight for mine - a feeling I'm not so used to having been raised Scandinavian, Lutheran, and passive-aggressive Minnesotan to a degree. It's almost as if the lyrics "if I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere" apply more to Paris than NYC. The city of lights. The city of love. The city of distrust. The city of old ladies peering through the slats of their shutters down at the street, down at you. The city of two-hour walks to work. The city of perfected wine, perfect nose snubs, perfectly earthy cheese, perfectly unique skies. Things in disarray appeal to me and while I love the disjointed, free struggle of Berlin I'm much more in love with the wild, half-drunk off a bottle of wine, riotous and rambling, slurring and sexy, frightful and fenced off Paris.

Man, this is gonna totally hurt me financially. And I might very well change my mind in a month when the application procedure opens to dual-degree programs. But for now I'm not ready to give up on this city or the program or myself. I know in time I'll feel stronger and more proud.

Anyway. Go check out how Berlin is changing and meet some of my wonderful colleagues and new friends.

[PS. Oh, and I somehow ended up as the co-chair of the 2008 GPPN Student Conference in Paris. Don't ask, please. No really. Please.]


highlights:

on the train, during the Berlin strike










autumn out the apartment window









flatmates in Berlin








Henry addresses the conference, Hertie











Television Tower in stereo

I got fat in Berlin

Well, I put the pounds back on that Paris made me lose. We ate so well in Berlin!

But I have to run off to a group work meeting (during vacation no less! blasphemy!) and then I have to use this vacation / reading week to actually catch up on reading so the blog post will have to wait.

In the meantime, there are a ton of new Paris photos - trying to catch up with those before loading up the Berlin ones.

Here's the link to the sets. What's new?

La Fete des Vendanges de Montmartre
dinners (yes, mom, I'm eating)
#74 bus ride
Sciences Po events (INSEAD RESPONSE conference - highlight was seeing the President of Microsoft International, low point was realizing they all do the corporate social responsibility for the money)
Day in the 1eme and Marais
Nuit Blanche (added and grouped)
Montmartre 18eme
Marais - 3eme and 4eme (post-Soiree Blanche, walking around the day after)
Saint Germain / rue du Bac (I was focusing on capturing some fashion on the streets and coats I'm interested in)
Pigalle / Clichy (like maybe 4 photos here)
Paris Metro (starting a collection of metro pics I think)

Here are some for persual now:

Boob tube

I don't have a TV in my apartment although today I wish to hell I had one. EXhausted! Not that it's impossible, but you know it's sometimes hard to remind myself that I'm completely exhausted in Paris. Everything becomes relative and home is where you lay your head (even if the futon is a bit hard). So, after a point of tiredness, even cobblestones and amazing cityscapes and French language and grey skies and dog crap on the sidewalk and the 7:30am "bonjour" greeting to the bus driver can all become a wash. It's Mondays that are going to kick my butt. Not that it sounds that bad, in fact, it sounds like a day at the office.

Get up at 6:00am
Thank god that something automatically wakes me up - again, I accidentally set it to 6:00pm
Roll around for 10 minutes wondering how I can get myself up before sunrise and wondering when sunrise will meet me in the morning again.
Smart school girl has already checked the weather the night before and picked out her outfit.
Turn The Current on (Radio K is too sporadic sometimes, and I hate Pledge Drive weeks -- yes, yes, I've given before) - very low volume. The walls aren't all that thick.
Shower - which is fabulous.
Lotion - it's drier here than I thought it would be. My hair requires more conditioner than ever before and I'm constantly thirsty and need lotion a lot earlier in the year than usual.
Start up the Italian press - how bad is aluminum for my brain and Alzheimer's anyway? Is it even confirmed?
Dress.
Catch up on emails (timezone weirdness) and Facebook and news. I finally got my Euro Newsweek and October's Wired. Also, we get a subscription to Economist online. Niiiice.
My new French shoulder bag has these awesome side pockets that are deeper than my thermos so I pack a coffee thermos some days or just pack it with apple and tasty energy bars (at least I think they're energy bars, or maybe they're weight-watchers type bars).
Down the 100+ stairs, down the hallway, hit the "Porte" button to unlock the door, out. I can see planets and stars but people are awake. People are always awake in my neighborhood. Head west to the end of the block, cross over, north 1/2 a block and there's the bus stop for #68. Except, it hasn't been on time yet. And, no, it's not me, thank you.
I whisper "bonjour" with my headphones on. No one talks on mass transit and it's almost frowned upon to converse or - god forbid - laugh loudly. Plus, I've got some reading to do. The two women who get on after me both say "bonjour" loudly enough to the bus driver that I can hear them. Hmm it's really a very polite country. It's super duper impolite to enter a shop and not say "bonjour" or "bonsoir." And it's super impolite to not wish the other person a good day or good evening with "bon journee" or "bonne soirée." For some reason I just didn't think this extended to the bus driver so much - how terrible of me! ... so I whispered it today, tomorrow I'll shout it to the rooftops!
Roughly 22min down Rue Blanche, past l'Opera, through the Louvre plaza (Erin, I keep passing the metro stop just down from our hotel and think of you!), along the Seine, and then hook into Saint Germain, turn left onto rue du Bac and I get off.
Run up the stairs to the 3rd floor, buzz in.

French class. Means you have to actually think. And think in a different part of your brain. And remember things from 17 years ago. And distinguish between Spanish and French. At least I'm not the only brain-dead in the course. 8am-10am

Today I wanted to sit in on "Regulation, Adjudication and Dispute Settlement Beyond the State" with Professor (or his Eccellenza) Sabino Cassese. Not that I don't want to be in Daniel Vaughan-Whitehead's course, because of course I want to take them all! But maybe I feel like I know a bit more about "Policy-making in Transition: Tools and Strategies" than International Law.

So, I dropped Transitions for Law (Chris T and Andrea G would be so proud!).

Regulation 10am-1pm. Only, Mr. Cassese goes on and on until 1:15pm, leaving me barely enough time to gulp down my sandwich crudite-thon (salad and tuna sandwich) from the basement of the main Sciences Po building (2,40E and full of fattening things like mayo and eggs).

We all bust over across the street from our department to another building for the last class "State Restructuring and Policy Change: Government and Governance" with Patrick Le Galès. So far this class (required for all 1st year students) has been pretty good in explaining where we're at in the spectrum of public policy but today - as he warned - would be directed at those with little to no policy experience (yawn - been there, done that). 2pm-5pm.

Okay, so it's literally a full work day with a nice away-from-desk lunch break (during which I got to read this article on abortion rates in the Int'l Herald Tribune - actually from the NYT). Except that, well, I just haven't worked my brain this hard in a while. It was on a nice vacation in La Crosse and then an overwhelmed vacation in Paris. Essentially, right after class let out, I got back to Rue du Bac, got in line and caught the first #68 back up the hill to my apartment. And all I wanted was a TV with the Simpsons and maybe a bit of like Heros or Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy. Instead, I reminded myself I needed to hit the Supermarche. This is still a bit overwhelming. Less so when I'm starved though.

Anyway. Yes, bitch moan. And, yes, I realize I'm exhausted and complaining IN Paris. An oh-so-sad place to be. But really, it does become relative and daily and needs are the same. Today I could use a big ol' upper back crack from Josh. Or maybe a stroll around the capitol with Nicole and Sara. A funny ha ha joke with Tanya. A high-five dance with Shelle. A big ol' hug from my parents... it was so nice of them, by the way, to wait over by the edge of the entrance as I made my way through the security line at O'Hare. It was a good 20 minutes I'm sure and at every bend in the line I could look over someone's head and see them peeking around the corner. Thank god for G-chat and Skype. Thank god for innovation!

Well, that's enough procrastination on reading this whole case by 12 hours from now. Whoops. Well... I do have to allow myself time to ease in to the whole study lifestyle. And, yes, even though I'm very tired, I'm totally thrilled and amazed. It's been a month and 4 days now and I feel like it's just going too darn fast already!!

Much love

oh and new photos added daily!

Meanwhile back at the office...

I'm working on editing and uploading and naming over 400 photos. Yes, you see I'm not fond of tossing any of them out. Each one, in its mundane blurriness is still something I saw and captured in time. And really the photos are for me - not you, my darling readers. So, feel free to sort through the Flickrs and skip what you will. I take no offense.

While I'm tweaking all the sights, I'd like to entertain you with this fabulous blog I found. Start here and then work your way around. It's a different take on living in Paris, which I'm finding is, to each person, their own horror or bliss or mediocrity. There's the quest for survival (I've dropped a few pounds which I was only housing for Wisconsin winters anyway) balanced with the need to communicate (I've got a few French friends) settling with the need to enjoy life (a nice pair of black jeans so I can blend in a bit, an 11E bottle of wine to get a small step out of the gutter of 4E) all topped off with the beginning of classes and the intricacies of helping to create a new program.

I'm in the upper, older age range and the honeymoon of hanging out with some of the younger, more self-focused colleagues has worn off. I'm finding myself cringing when accidentally herded together. (I'd like to ask Professor Erhard Friedberg, the director of our program and director of the C.S.O. Centre de Sociologie des Organisations, to explain this accidental grouping phenomenon. I meander out of a classroom or lecture hall to find myself ending up in certain cliques, or I meander out and find myself surrounded by certain people - often the same people. I'd like to re-route whatever forces are at work here because otherwise I might kill some of my colleagues before we even get to finals.)

So, orientation went off without a hitch but with hell of a burden. I am a legal student allowed to stay in this country for a year and can travel to other countries without being seized at the border and refused re-entry to France - although, as I pointed out to someone concerned about this - how bad would it be to stuck in Germany or Spain? I mean, c'mon, it's not the Midwest! I am also legally registered for classes and have allowed the school to automatically withdraw funds from my wonderful French bank account (which also took quite a toll to achieve).

Now, to figure out how to get the Navigo pass to get on and off metros and buses without paying an arm and a leg, also to get on and off Velib bikes. And to buy a cell phone plan instead of paying for minutes added on each month (expensive). To price out a gym (which looks like a no-go for me since almost ALL the discounts in this country go to students - UNDER 28 - ageists!!!).

Last weekend our class got on a bus and went to the Valley of the Loire (which I ended up just calling Valley of the Dolls in my head - doubting that any of my younger colleagues would get the joke). It wasn't the awe-inspiring, fireworks and angels singing, "Ahhhhhhleeeeeluuuujahhhhhh." But it definitely helped me place my thinking brain into a framework (a lovely biz word these days) for public affairs. I'll post a few of the activities and let you find out your own skills and ways of thinking.

It was absolutely beautiful to get out of the city and into the country. This wasn't mountains and rolling hills, but fresh grass and chilly, autumn air and colorful trees. We got to swing by a castle and rest in the park. I love the city, I love Paris, but I'm a nature girl at heart, too. (Despite the fact that every time I'm alone in nature I'm completely freaked out by the idea of wildebeasts or wild boars or rabies-ridden bear attacking me.)

And, of course, we also had wine. I have no idea what kind of wine as it came out of a handy spout in the dining area. Red or pink - choose your color.

So, now the first week of classes. It's interesting to mix the 1st year and 2nd year students in one building for courses (2nd years = students who attended Sciences Po last year or came from the dual-degree programs at Columbia SIPA, London's LSE, or Berlin's Hertie, or Singapore's Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy). This makes a total of 60+ of us bouncing around at various times and makes a total pain in the ass headache for the scheduler. Some 2nd year students take electives offered to 1st years as well, etc... I'll take a snapshot and post it up here sometime so you can see the maze we're all working through.

Essentially I only had 2 courses on Monday (others had 4 from 8am-8pm) and today I have 1 and tomorrow 1. This will pick up as I get to more classes though. This week was a Transitions course, today is Innovation, and tomorrow Economics 1 (see the schedule here for professor info and course info.) Next week I'll have the French, Stats, etc...

Also check the calendar as I'm headed off to conferences galore this month. Fri, 12th in Fountainebleu for a conference on Corporate Social Responsibility (my Berlin colleague says it's a trendy idea to alleviate regulations on private sector - I agree and disagree, Rome can't turn into a kibbutz in one day). Then, I made the cut to join 9 other students (of both 1st & 2nd years who applied) to go to Berlin for the Global Public Policy conference. I'm extending my stay there until Wed, 31st, to tour around with the other Sciences Po students. We'll be staying in a cheap hostel with the bathroom/showers down the hall kind of place. Fine for my budget!!

Speaking of, I have saved almost all my receipts for the past weeks and just have to plug them in. Finally a nice weekend to sit down and do this, as well as figure out where to buy a to-go-coffee mug. A slight horror to the French, and a slight insult, but I'm not quite a relax-with-your-coffee girl yet. Let's hope that after a few months Paris will wash me clean of the USA workaholic/to-go mentality.

Oui oui.
Feeling better about things. Thankful for a purpose for the days. Easing into the grey, overcast days. Smiling to myself on the metro (among all the seriously deflated faces of the Parisians). Successfully avoiding the doggie doo. Heading out this weekend to see some live punk experimental performance show, as well as "Nuit Blanche" (the one night Paris becomes New York and stays awake longer than 2am).

I hope you all are doing well, as well. And please don't take offense if I haven't written you back personally yet. I plan to - I promise.

xoxoxo