The big question: What will I do?

Yup, degree attained. Check.

So, what's next?

Well, my dad's health kind of hit me in a way that I wasn't anticipating. I'd spent a large portion of 34 years (probably between ages 12 - 26) disliking my family entirely, then a smaller portion (26-32) spent loving them but not really being so interested in hanging out with them. This past year I sort of started missing them until I realized I was truly very homesick - not for a place but for these people.

Around the same time, my grandmother moved into an assisted living residence and the farm was sold. I lived 6 years in Madison, Wisconsin - the longest I've lived anywhere. Right behind this milestone, is the farm, where I spent several summers and many holidays. Neither of these places hold very much sentimentality for me now. I didn't drive by my old apartment on Gilman Street. I didn't drive out to see the farm land. But I did make a point of seeing the people. And I've missed them. My ex-boyfriend and great friend, Josh, my grandmother, my aunts and uncles (just missing many of my favorites too - yup, talking to you, Kim!), cousins, new 2nd cousins, past co-workers, etc... I guess there isn't a specific location that provides me community, but it's found with each of these folks.

What about Paris? Well, I had a community for two years while attending Sciences Po. Didn't give myself much of a chance to make a huge one outside of the school though.

Now, almost all of those student-friends have flown off to other parts of the world. I do adore and love Paris, and it is a moveable feast as I've felt her when outside the borders. Interestingly though, while I was in the States those past 3 weeks, I didn't miss her quite as badly as I thought would. Although, I complained about the horrible food in the US, the bad TV (why on earth is Mad Men a good show?!), the largeness of the people, and the lack of public garbage cans in neighborhoods (who wants to carry dog poop in a bag for blocks and blocks?). Meanwhile, I hailed the Parisian transportation system, the veggies and fruits that taste like themselves, the warm pain au chocolat in the morning, the warm baguette in the evening, the fresh cheese shops, the fresh seafood shops, the fresh meat shops (even as a vegetarian I have an appreciation), the beauty of the city, the wine, the ... the... the...

Nonetheless, I also noticed that the two cities have commonalities. Both have different types of convenience and friendliness. There's, also, a different sort of beauty in the US: a sweetness in the sunset, unlike Paris' burning fires or quiet disappearing act. Where I've photographed Paris sidewalks marked with shoeprints of dog poo and stained with the star-like splatter from drunk puking, I found strange beauty in the States' soulless, boxy megalomania that serves up vomitus overwhelming and over-colored selections of product.

At one point, just before returning to Paris, my Facebook status was "would like an apartment on the fence - where the grass is green on both sides." I guess, really it is. Every place has positive qualities and horrors. It's just happens that, right now, the US place also has my friends and family.


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So, for now, I'm checking one-way dates. Looking for jobs. AND! Making a list of things/places/people I should see in/around Paris before leaving. Any suggestions welcome!

-Musee de l'Erotisme
-Museum National d'Histoire Naturelle in Jardins des Plantes
-Parc Belleville
-Rue St Vincent (18eme)
-Parc des Buttes Chaumont
-Jardin du Luxembourg
-Montparnasse: Cimitere de Montparnasse; Le Dôme, Dingo Bar, La Closerie des Lilas, La Rotonde, Le Select, La Coupole; rue de la Gaité; Musée du Montparnasse
-Higuma restaurant
-Jeu de Paume
-Versailles

**Seen this weekend: The Galeries de Paléontologie et d'Anatomie Comparée, Le Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen, the Catacombs, Musee Gustave Moreau